1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:01,000 SONG: # One, two, three, four, five, six, take it down! 2 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,840 SONG: # One, two, three, four, five, six, take it down! 3 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:24,200 # Cue the pulse to begin 4 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,160 # Cue the pulse to begin 5 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:34,640 # Cue the pulse to begin 6 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,320 # Cue the pulse to begin 7 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:38,360 # Cue the pulse to begin 8 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,120 # Cue the pulse to begin 9 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:42,160 # Cue the pulse to begin. # 10 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:44,400 # Cue the pulse to begin. # 11 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:47,880 HARD INDUSTRIAL DANCE MUSIC THROBS 12 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,840 HARD INDUSTRIAL DANCE MUSIC THROBS 13 00:00:58,920 --> 00:00:58,960 You fucked him? Wednesday. 14 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,120 You fucked him? Wednesday. 15 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:01,160 And the hot Latino? Thursday. 16 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,720 And the hot Latino? Thursday. 17 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:02,800 Well, 'ole', Teddy. You are out of control! 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:06,080 Well, 'ole', Teddy. You are out of control! 19 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:06,120 Good evening, twats. 20 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,840 Good evening, twats. 21 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:07,880 Would you kindly refrain from using derogatory references to women, 22 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,200 Would you kindly refrain from using derogatory references to women, 23 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:11,240 since they represent half my fanbase? 24 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,280 since they represent half my fanbase? 25 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:13,320 Have any hermaphrodites? 26 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,840 Have any hermaphrodites? 27 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:14,880 I don't think so. 28 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:16,680 I don't think so. 29 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:16,720 Good. Go fuck yourself. 30 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,040 Good. Go fuck yourself. 31 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:19,080 Anybody here worth doing? 32 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,600 Anybody here worth doing? 33 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:20,640 No, sorry, Bri. Already done 'em. 34 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,280 No, sorry, Bri. Already done 'em. 35 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:22,320 Oh, we were up to Friday. 36 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:23,760 Oh, we were up to Friday. 37 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:23,800 Oh, there's Friday. 38 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,440 Oh, there's Friday. 39 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:25,480 Over there. The bossy bottom over there. 40 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,280 Over there. The bossy bottom over there. 41 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:27,320 He's a bottom?! 42 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,840 He's a bottom?! 43 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:28,880 Yeah. You should hear him sing 'Natural Woman'. 44 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,000 Yeah. You should hear him sing 'Natural Woman'. 45 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:31,040 Better than Aretha, I might add. 46 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,480 Better than Aretha, I might add. 47 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:32,520 You gotta gag 'em first, then fuck 'em! 48 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,680 You gotta gag 'em first, then fuck 'em! 49 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:35,760 You still have much to learn, dear boy. 50 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,680 You still have much to learn, dear boy. 51 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:37,720 Oh, my God, who's that? 52 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,800 Oh, my God, who's that? 53 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:41,800 DANCE MUSIC RISES 54 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,760 DANCE MUSIC RISES 55 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:55,760 TED: I don't know, but I believe I have Sunday free... 56 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,040 TED: I don't know, but I believe I have Sunday free... 57 00:01:59,240 --> 00:01:59,280 Count on staying home and trimming your pubes. 58 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,120 Count on staying home and trimming your pubes. 59 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:07,960 I'll let him have this one. 60 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,440 I'll let him have this one. 61 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:38,680 SONG: # I feel sexy 62 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,280 SONG: # I feel sexy 63 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:42,200 # If you like it 64 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,320 # If you like it 65 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:45,720 # Don't just stand there, there, there, there, there 66 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:49,120 # Don't just stand there, there, there, there, there 67 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:07,200 # Just stand there, there, there, there, there... # 68 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,760 # Just stand there, there, there, there, there... # 69 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:29,240 BEN: Wow, Rage and J.T. are finally tying the knot! 70 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,560 BEN: Wow, Rage and J.T. are finally tying the knot! 71 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:31,600 It's about time, wouldn't you say? 72 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,360 It's about time, wouldn't you say? 73 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:33,400 Did they go to Toronto? 74 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,840 Did they go to Toronto? 75 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:34,880 No, Massachupiter. It's a planet. 76 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,880 No, Massachupiter. It's a planet. 77 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:36,920 Unlike Pennsylvania, it's legal for gays to get married there. 78 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:40,000 Unlike Pennsylvania, it's legal for gays to get married there. 79 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:40,040 Aha! So where do we buy our rocket ship tickets and zoom off? 80 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,760 Aha! So where do we buy our rocket ship tickets and zoom off? 81 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:43,800 Huh. I wish. (Chuckles) 82 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,240 Huh. I wish. (Chuckles) 83 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:45,280 Well, until we can, 84 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:46,720 Well, until we can, 85 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:46,760 we'll just live vicariously through our intrepid superheroes. 86 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,000 we'll just live vicariously through our intrepid superheroes. 87 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:49,040 Well, let's hope that 5,000 readers - 88 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,400 Well, let's hope that 5,000 readers - 89 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:51,440 no, what the hell, make it 10 - agree with you. 90 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,000 no, what the hell, make it 10 - agree with you. 91 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:54,040 I'll get these out of your way. 92 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,840 I'll get these out of your way. 93 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:55,880 You coming to our house-warming? 94 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,640 You coming to our house-warming? 95 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:57,680 I wouldn't miss it! 96 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,200 I wouldn't miss it! 97 00:03:59,200 --> 00:03:59,240 It's gonna be a bad-ass blow-out. 98 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,480 It's gonna be a bad-ass blow-out. 99 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:01,520 What do you say we start early? 100 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,000 What do you say we start early? 101 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:03,040 Mm-hm. Mmm. 102 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,720 Mm-hm. Mmm. 103 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:05,760 (Both moan happily) 104 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,720 (Both moan happily) 105 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:08,760 (Moans warningly) 106 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,200 (Moans warningly) 107 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:10,240 Here he is! 108 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,800 Here he is! 109 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:11,840 Our wayward son. 110 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,320 Our wayward son. 111 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:14,760 Cool cover! Where you been? 112 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,800 Cool cover! Where you been? 113 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:16,840 I thought you were gonna be home by 6:00. 114 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,600 I thought you were gonna be home by 6:00. 115 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:18,640 I was practising with my debating partner. 116 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,480 I was practising with my debating partner. 117 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:20,520 Whenever I used to tell my parents that, I was usually getting stoned. 118 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,240 Whenever I used to tell my parents that, I was usually getting stoned. 119 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:23,280 When's the big event? 120 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,240 When's the big event? 121 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:25,280 Uh, tomorrow afternoon. 122 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:26,720 Uh, tomorrow afternoon. 123 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:26,760 It's in front of the whole school. 124 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,280 It's in front of the whole school. 125 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:28,320 What's the topic? Capital punishment. 126 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,560 What's the topic? Capital punishment. 127 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:30,600 I'm all for it. I say fry the motherfuckers. 128 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,080 I'm all for it. I say fry the motherfuckers. 129 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:34,920 Now you see why we're so proud. (Laughs) 130 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,120 Now you see why we're so proud. (Laughs) 131 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:38,160 Now, what I'm about to show you may frighten small children, 132 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,000 Now, what I'm about to show you may frighten small children, 133 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:41,040 so parents may want them to leave the room. 134 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,760 so parents may want them to leave the room. 135 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:42,800 Scary, huh? 136 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,800 Scary, huh? 137 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:44,840 It's what I call the comb OVER... 138 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:47,400 It's what I call the comb OVER... 139 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:47,440 ..like Wally's, here. 140 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,880 ..like Wally's, here. 141 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:48,920 But see how much hotter Wally looks 142 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,880 But see how much hotter Wally looks 143 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:51,920 when he embraces his baldness? 144 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,680 when he embraces his baldness? 145 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:54,720 Why, Wallace... 146 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,520 Why, Wallace... 147 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:56,560 ..is that a hickey?! 148 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,000 ..is that a hickey?! 149 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:58,040 Go for it, tiger! Grr! 150 00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,520 Go for it, tiger! Grr! 151 00:04:59,520 --> 00:04:59,560 Alright, those are my hairdos and don'ts. 152 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,960 Alright, those are my hairdos and don'ts. 153 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:03,000 Next week, I'm waxing - 154 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,720 Next week, I'm waxing - 155 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:04,760 and I'm not talking about the kitchen floor! 156 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,320 and I'm not talking about the kitchen floor! 157 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:06,360 OK, everybody. 158 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,800 OK, everybody. 159 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:07,840 Be fabulous! 160 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,360 Be fabulous! 161 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:10,400 Thanks, Queer Guy. That's it for tonight. 162 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,800 Thanks, Queer Guy. That's it for tonight. 163 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:12,840 Hopefully, we'll be 'hair' tomorrow. 164 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,560 Hopefully, we'll be 'hair' tomorrow. 165 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:15,600 May all your news be good news. OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS 166 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,680 May all your news be good news. OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS 167 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:18,720 MAN: We're out. 168 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,840 MAN: We're out. 169 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:20,880 Thank you so much. 170 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,720 Thank you so much. 171 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:22,760 That was fabulous! Yeah! 172 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,600 That was fabulous! Yeah! 173 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:24,640 See, you've even got me doing it. Sorry, Don. 174 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,840 See, you've even got me doing it. Sorry, Don. 175 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:26,880 Sorry? Since you've been on the air, the ratings have gone up two points! 176 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,640 Sorry? Since you've been on the air, the ratings have gone up two points! 177 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:29,680 Now everybody wants the queer perspective. 178 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,960 Now everybody wants the queer perspective. 179 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:32,000 Channel 9 has even hired a trannie weather...uh, person. 180 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,680 Channel 9 has even hired a trannie weather...uh, person. 181 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:34,720 Well, let's just hope he...she... 182 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,600 Well, let's just hope he...she... 183 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:36,640 can decide if it's gonna be rainy or fair! 184 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,400 can decide if it's gonna be rainy or fair! 185 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:38,440 Either way, your fans are gonna be lined up around the block 186 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,760 Either way, your fans are gonna be lined up around the block 187 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:40,800 to see you tomorrow at Hoffman's! 188 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,640 to see you tomorrow at Hoffman's! 189 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:42,680 So many in need, so little time. 190 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,520 So many in need, so little time. 191 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:44,560 And wait till you read your... 192 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,320 And wait till you read your... 193 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:46,360 ..fan mail. 194 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:47,800 ..fan mail. 195 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:47,840 Fan mail? For me? 196 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,280 Fan mail? For me? 197 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:49,320 Even people who hate fags love you. 198 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,800 Even people who hate fags love you. 199 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:56,560 CARL: Here you go, hon. 200 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,040 CARL: Here you go, hon. 201 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:58,080 (Groans) Oh, thank you, Carl, but... 202 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,560 (Groans) Oh, thank you, Carl, but... 203 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:01,600 ..honestly, I don't think I could keep it down. 204 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,800 ..honestly, I don't think I could keep it down. 205 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:03,840 (Sighs) 206 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,320 (Sighs) 207 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:05,360 Are you still hurtin'? Mm-hm. 208 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,800 Are you still hurtin'? Mm-hm. 209 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:07,840 Poor baby. 210 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,240 Poor baby. 211 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:10,280 Did you take what Dr McGrath prescribed? 212 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,160 Did you take what Dr McGrath prescribed? 213 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:12,200 That quack?! 214 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,720 That quack?! 215 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:13,760 He had me splitting corn to be served with orange sauce. 216 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,400 He had me splitting corn to be served with orange sauce. 217 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:20,720 I mean, there are all these new diseases. 218 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,320 I mean, there are all these new diseases. 219 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:22,360 You know, damn doctors can't keep up with it. 220 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,400 You know, damn doctors can't keep up with it. 221 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:25,560 Mmm. 222 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,080 Mmm. 223 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:27,120 What if it's mad cow, or that bird flu? 224 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,800 What if it's mad cow, or that bird flu? 225 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:29,840 Come to think of it, a pigeon shit on my shoulder the other day - 226 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,600 Come to think of it, a pigeon shit on my shoulder the other day - 227 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:32,640 I gotta remember to tell that to the new doctor. 228 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,560 I gotta remember to tell that to the new doctor. 229 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:34,600 New doctor? 230 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,040 New doctor? 231 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:36,080 I'm getting a second opinion. 232 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,920 I'm getting a second opinion. 233 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:37,960 Actually, it's more like a fourth. 234 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,280 Actually, it's more like a fourth. 235 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:40,320 OK, that's it. 236 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,880 OK, that's it. 237 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:45,160 Who you calling? The station. 238 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,400 Who you calling? The station. 239 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:47,440 I'm gonna take you. Carl, please, no! 240 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,400 I'm gonna take you. Carl, please, no! 241 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:49,440 It'll just make it worse, alright? 242 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,360 It'll just make it worse, alright? 243 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:51,400 Thinking that I'm keeping you from work. 244 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,440 Thinking that I'm keeping you from work. 245 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:53,480 (Sighs) 246 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,880 (Sighs) 247 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:00,040 You go solve a murder or two. 248 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,320 You go solve a murder or two. 249 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:02,360 (Tuts) I wish I could solve this... 250 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,200 (Tuts) I wish I could solve this... 251 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:04,240 (Gasps) Gently! Gently. 252 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,880 (Gasps) Gently! Gently. 253 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:08,640 OK, promise you'll call me as soon as you hear what the doctor says. 254 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,640 OK, promise you'll call me as soon as you hear what the doctor says. 255 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:12,680 I promise. 256 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,080 I promise. 257 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:17,920 Oh! (Groans) 258 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,880 Oh! (Groans) 259 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:20,920 It's OK, honey. 260 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,400 It's OK, honey. 261 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:25,800 (Blows a kiss) 262 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,320 (Blows a kiss) 263 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:27,360 I'll be at Hoffman's department store today from 1:00 to 3:00 264 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:32,080 I'll be at Hoffman's department store today from 1:00 to 3:00 265 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:32,120 signing autographs, giving tips on how to be fabulous. 266 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,400 signing autographs, giving tips on how to be fabulous. 267 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:36,440 Be sure and stop by! 268 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,960 Be sure and stop by! 269 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:40,080 Oh, Teddy, I feel as if I finally found my calling, 270 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,800 Oh, Teddy, I feel as if I finally found my calling, 271 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:42,840 that God has appointed me from above to do his work below. 272 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:46,640 that God has appointed me from above to do his work below. 273 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:46,680 Saint Emmett! 274 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,160 Saint Emmett! 275 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:48,200 Patron saint of the fashion-impoverished, 276 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,640 Patron saint of the fashion-impoverished, 277 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:50,680 the style-deprived.... 278 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,160 the style-deprived.... 279 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:52,200 You laugh, but there is something almost holy 280 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,000 You laugh, but there is something almost holy 281 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:55,040 about saving the thousands of walking disasters in this town. 282 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,920 about saving the thousands of walking disasters in this town. 283 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:57,960 (Chuckles) 284 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,400 (Chuckles) 285 00:07:59,400 --> 00:07:59,440 Of which he is definitely not one. 286 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,880 Of which he is definitely not one. 287 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:07,320 Can you believe that guy? 288 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,840 Can you believe that guy? 289 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:08,880 Walked right by, didn't even recognise me. 290 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,320 Walked right by, didn't even recognise me. 291 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:11,800 But I recognise him. 292 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,280 But I recognise him. 293 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:13,320 Is he someone? 294 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,880 Is he someone? 295 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:14,920 Oh, he's someone alright. 296 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,080 Oh, he's someone alright. 297 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:21,400 Pride, 2002. 298 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,360 Pride, 2002. 299 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:23,400 We had amazing sex... 300 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,960 We had amazing sex... 301 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:25,000 ..at least, I thought so. 302 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,400 ..at least, I thought so. 303 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:26,440 Then, the next day, 304 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,080 Then, the next day, 305 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:28,120 I met him at Woody's. 306 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,800 I met him at Woody's. 307 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:29,840 He told me once a year he finds some loser guy... 308 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,480 He told me once a year he finds some loser guy... 309 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:32,520 Like you. And I give him a break. 310 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,120 Like you. And I give him a break. 311 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:35,160 I give him...I give him me, 312 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,840 I give him...I give him me, 313 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:37,880 the fuck of his life. 314 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,920 the fuck of his life. 315 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:39,960 You know, something he can remember, 316 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,840 You know, something he can remember, 317 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:41,880 much like a souvenir. 318 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,920 much like a souvenir. 319 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:43,960 It's my way of giving back to the community. 320 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,120 It's my way of giving back to the community. 321 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:47,160 Teddy, that was aeons ago! 322 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,640 Teddy, that was aeons ago! 323 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:49,680 Look at you now - 324 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,160 Look at you now - 325 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:51,200 thin, gorgeous, guys falling all over you. 326 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,120 thin, gorgeous, guys falling all over you. 327 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:53,160 It was the single most humiliating experience of my life. 328 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,280 It was the single most humiliating experience of my life. 329 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:55,320 Everybody called me... 330 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:56,760 Everybody called me... 331 00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:58,520 ..Aunt Pityfuck. 332 00:08:58,520 --> 00:08:59,960 ..Aunt Pityfuck. 333 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:01,120 Well, as painful as it may have been, 334 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,000 Well, as painful as it may have been, 335 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:03,040 you just have to let it go. 336 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,120 you just have to let it go. 337 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:13,520 Or get even. 338 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,960 Or get even. 339 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:18,960 I'm not gonna make him nervous! 340 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,520 I'm not gonna make him nervous! 341 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:20,560 I'll sit in the back, he won't even know I'm there. 342 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,640 I'll sit in the back, he won't even know I'm there. 343 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:24,240 I just wanna see him in action. 344 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:25,760 I just wanna see him in action. 345 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:25,800 We'll stop by the store afterwards. I'll take you both to dinner. 346 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,440 We'll stop by the store afterwards. I'll take you both to dinner. 347 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:33,120 Love. 348 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,760 Love. 349 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:34,800 (Mutters) Oh, God. 350 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,720 (Mutters) Oh, God. 351 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:37,760 Callie? 352 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,280 Callie? 353 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:39,320 It's Ben. 354 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,240 It's Ben. 355 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:41,280 Mr Bruckner! I know - Hunter's dad. 356 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,400 Mr Bruckner! I know - Hunter's dad. 357 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:43,440 I came to watch him debate. 358 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,440 I came to watch him debate. 359 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:45,480 Which way is the auditorium? Uh... 360 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,000 Which way is the auditorium? Uh... 361 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:47,040 As you go in, it's on the right. 362 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,360 As you go in, it's on the right. 363 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:49,400 Ah. 364 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,960 Ah. 365 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:51,000 (Laughs) 366 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,720 (Laughs) 367 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:52,760 But I don't think there's a debate. 368 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,920 But I don't think there's a debate. 369 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:56,360 They've got a chorus practice. 370 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,360 They've got a chorus practice. 371 00:09:59,360 --> 00:09:59,400 (Laughs) Are you sure? 372 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,840 (Laughs) Are you sure? 373 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:05,120 Is Hunter OK? 374 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,480 Is Hunter OK? 375 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:07,520 He hasn't been in school all week. 376 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,720 He hasn't been in school all week. 377 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:09,760 Oh, he's fine. I guess I must have misunderstood him. 378 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:14,280 Oh, he's fine. I guess I must have misunderstood him. 379 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:22,520 This pink striped shirt will look fab under this jacket, 380 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,720 This pink striped shirt will look fab under this jacket, 381 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:25,760 and...oh, oh, oh! 382 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,760 and...oh, oh, oh! 383 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:27,800 And see how this tie really makes it pop? 384 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:32,160 And see how this tie really makes it pop? 385 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:32,200 Frankly, I don't care what clothes Irwin wears. 386 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,040 Frankly, I don't care what clothes Irwin wears. 387 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:34,080 He took your advice from the other night and shaved his head, 388 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,400 He took your advice from the other night and shaved his head, 389 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:36,440 you know, he embraced his baldness. 390 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,440 you know, he embraced his baldness. 391 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:38,480 Now I barely let him out of the bedroom! 392 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,760 Now I barely let him out of the bedroom! 393 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:40,800 I can't tell you how much it warms my heart 394 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,680 I can't tell you how much it warms my heart 395 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:43,720 to know I'm keeping heteros horny! 396 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,240 to know I'm keeping heteros horny! 397 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:45,280 (All laugh) OK. 398 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,720 (All laugh) OK. 399 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:46,760 Alright, be back in five! It's tinkle time! 400 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,840 Alright, be back in five! It's tinkle time! 401 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:48,880 (All chuckle) WOMAN: 'Bye! 402 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,320 (All chuckle) WOMAN: 'Bye! 403 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:50,360 You are a superstar! Oh, shh. 404 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,720 You are a superstar! Oh, shh. 405 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:52,760 Look at this crowd! 406 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,320 Look at this crowd! 407 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:54,360 Yeah, second only to when the Stones played Three Rivers Stadium. 408 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,560 Yeah, second only to when the Stones played Three Rivers Stadium. 409 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:00,560 Brian! 410 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,080 Brian! 411 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:02,120 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 412 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,840 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 413 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:04,880 Well...needed socks. 414 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,040 Well...needed socks. 415 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:07,080 Don't pay any attention to him. He's as proud of you as we are. 416 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,880 Don't pay any attention to him. He's as proud of you as we are. 417 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:09,920 Aren't you? (Laughs) 418 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,520 Aren't you? (Laughs) 419 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:11,560 Yeah, it's an honour to count among our close personal friends 420 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:14,320 Yeah, it's an honour to count among our close personal friends 421 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:14,360 television's latest gay eunuch. 422 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,640 television's latest gay eunuch. 423 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:16,680 Excuse me? 424 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,560 Excuse me? 425 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:18,600 You know, as in non-sexual, non-threatening... 426 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:24,200 You know, as in non-sexual, non-threatening... 427 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:24,240 Ball-less. 428 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:25,960 Ball-less. 429 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:26,000 You do homage to a long and illustrious line 430 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,480 You do homage to a long and illustrious line 431 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:29,520 of lovable, laughable clowns who've come before you. 432 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,080 of lovable, laughable clowns who've come before you. 433 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:33,120 Why, just look at all these people! 434 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,120 Why, just look at all these people! 435 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:36,840 They're my fans. 436 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,400 They're my fans. 437 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:38,440 They adore me. 438 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,920 They adore me. 439 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:39,960 Because you're so cute! 440 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,680 Because you're so cute! 441 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:43,200 But do you think they'd still adore you 442 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,200 But do you think they'd still adore you 443 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:45,240 if they knew you took it up the ass and liked it? 444 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,560 if they knew you took it up the ass and liked it? 445 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:48,600 Like I said, Brian - 446 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,160 Like I said, Brian - 447 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:51,200 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 448 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,880 I can't tell you what it means that you'd show up to support me. 449 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:55,960 Any time. 450 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,040 Any time. 451 00:11:59,280 --> 00:11:59,320 I just love you. You're so cute! 452 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,800 I just love you. You're so cute! 453 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:01,840 Thank you. Thank you. Ma'am, step back, please. 454 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,680 Thank you. Thank you. Ma'am, step back, please. 455 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:09,080 He's been lying to us? 456 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,000 He's been lying to us? 457 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:11,040 I'm sure there's a reason. 458 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,600 I'm sure there's a reason. 459 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:13,640 I didn't say a good reason. 460 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,120 I didn't say a good reason. 461 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:15,160 But I thought he trusted us, that, you know, 462 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,520 But I thought he trusted us, that, you know, 463 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:17,560 he told us everything! 464 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,040 he told us everything! 465 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:19,080 Did you tell your mother everything when you were 17? 466 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,040 Did you tell your mother everything when you were 17? 467 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:21,080 I didn't have to. There were hidden monitors in every room. 468 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,480 I didn't have to. There were hidden monitors in every room. 469 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:23,520 She had a homing device implanted in my brain soon after birth - 470 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,160 She had a homing device implanted in my brain soon after birth - 471 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:27,200 it's the only explanation how she automatically knew. 472 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,280 it's the only explanation how she automatically knew. 473 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:29,320 Here...here he comes. 474 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,800 Here...here he comes. 475 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:30,840 Now, let's try not to let our emotions run amok. 476 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,080 Now, let's try not to let our emotions run amok. 477 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:33,120 That's easy for you to say - 478 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,600 That's easy for you to say - 479 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:34,640 you come from a long line of repressed alcoholics. 480 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,560 you come from a long line of repressed alcoholics. 481 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:36,600 (Scoffs) 482 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,080 (Scoffs) 483 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:38,120 Sorry I'm late. I was in debate club. 484 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,400 Sorry I'm late. I was in debate club. 485 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:40,440 This week's topic is... 'Secrets and lies'? 486 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,680 This week's topic is... 'Secrets and lies'? 487 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:45,280 We know you haven't been in school all week. 488 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,040 We know you haven't been in school all week. 489 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:51,800 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 490 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,200 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 491 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:54,240 Better. 492 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,640 Better. 493 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:58,000 Would you just leave me the fuck alone? 494 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,600 Would you just leave me the fuck alone? 495 00:12:59,600 --> 00:12:59,640 I told you, I don't want to talk about it. 496 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,600 I told you, I don't want to talk about it. 497 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:01,640 We have to talk about it. We wanna help you. 498 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,480 We have to talk about it. We wanna help you. 499 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:04,520 You can't help me. Nobody can help me. It's too late. 500 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,120 You can't help me. Nobody can help me. It's too late. 501 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:07,160 It's never too late. 502 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,600 It's never too late. 503 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:08,640 I know it's been a tough few weeks... 504 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,320 I know it's been a tough few weeks... 505 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:10,360 Try years. 506 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,360 Try years. 507 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:12,400 OK. OK, but there's gotta be a solution. 508 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,440 OK. OK, but there's gotta be a solution. 509 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:14,480 I can't go back to that school. 510 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,760 I can't go back to that school. 511 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:16,800 Everybody just stares at me like I'm a piece of shit, 512 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,120 Everybody just stares at me like I'm a piece of shit, 513 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:19,160 and when they do, that's how I feel. 514 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,720 and when they do, that's how I feel. 515 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:20,760 You're not a piece of shit! 516 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,240 You're not a piece of shit! 517 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:22,280 You're a brave, smart, funny, wonderful person. 518 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,920 You're a brave, smart, funny, wonderful person. 519 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:24,960 And you're our son! And we love you! 520 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,640 And you're our son! And we love you! 521 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:26,680 And you don't have to lie to us. We know what you're going through. 522 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,360 And you don't have to lie to us. We know what you're going through. 523 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:30,400 You have no idea. 524 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,840 You have no idea. 525 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:33,440 FOOTSTEPS RECEDE, DOOR SLAMS 526 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,920 FOOTSTEPS RECEDE, DOOR SLAMS 527 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:36,960 How about a barbecue grill? 528 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,360 How about a barbecue grill? 529 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:42,240 Or maybe fireplace tools. 530 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,040 Or maybe fireplace tools. 531 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:44,080 What do you think? 532 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,560 What do you think? 533 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:45,600 I think if you don't stop talking about 534 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,120 I think if you don't stop talking about 535 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:47,160 their goddamn house-warming gift, 536 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,640 their goddamn house-warming gift, 537 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:48,680 I'm gonna burn their fucking place down. 538 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,040 I'm gonna burn their fucking place down. 539 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:52,240 Another round. What's your problem? 540 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,320 Another round. What's your problem? 541 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:54,360 I have no problem. 542 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,320 I have no problem. 543 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:56,360 I am problem-less. 544 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,520 I am problem-less. 545 00:13:58,520 --> 00:13:58,560 A problem-free zone. 546 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,640 A problem-free zone. 547 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:00,680 Then help me pick something out. 548 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,120 Then help me pick something out. 549 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:02,160 (Sighs) 550 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,160 (Sighs) 551 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:08,520 (Laughs humourlessly) A hands-free toilet. 552 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,040 (Laughs humourlessly) A hands-free toilet. 553 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:11,080 "It senses you are there and automatically flushes." 554 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,880 "It senses you are there and automatically flushes." 555 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:13,920 Yeah! 556 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,760 Yeah! 557 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:15,800 300 bucks down the crapper. 558 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,160 300 bucks down the crapper. 559 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:18,200 Are you gonna tell me what's wrong? 560 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,640 Are you gonna tell me what's wrong? 561 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:19,680 No. 562 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,600 No. 563 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:21,640 Fine. 564 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,040 Fine. 565 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:33,000 (Tuts) Anyway. 566 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,760 (Tuts) Anyway. 567 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:36,120 You wouldn't understand. 568 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,560 You wouldn't understand. 569 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:38,600 I'll show you my SAT scores. 570 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,160 I'll show you my SAT scores. 571 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:42,320 You're too young. 572 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,800 You're too young. 573 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:43,840 Compared to who? 574 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,600 Compared to who? 575 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:45,640 'Whom'. You? 576 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,120 'Whom'. You? 577 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:50,880 That hot guy I followed into the back room the other night? 578 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,000 That hot guy I followed into the back room the other night? 579 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:54,040 What about him? 580 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,320 What about him? 581 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:56,360 When I went for his cock... 582 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,560 When I went for his cock... 583 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:01,240 (Laughs) Never mind. 584 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,360 (Laughs) Never mind. 585 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:03,400 Would you just say it? 586 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,800 Would you just say it? 587 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:07,480 My hand... 588 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,000 My hand... 589 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:09,040 Your hand... 590 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,400 Your hand... 591 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:12,000 What? 592 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:12,920 What? 593 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:17,080 (Scoffs) 594 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,520 (Scoffs) 595 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:19,800 If it's any comfort, you're still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh. 596 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,720 If it's any comfort, you're still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh. 597 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:24,760 Now help me out here. We can't show up without a gift. 598 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,280 Now help me out here. We can't show up without a gift. 599 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:27,320 I'm not going to their fucking party. 600 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,360 I'm not going to their fucking party. 601 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:29,400 Why not? 602 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,360 Why not? 603 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:30,400 Because I'm going to a FUCKING party. 604 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,240 Because I'm going to a FUCKING party. 605 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:35,400 GROANING AND YELLING 606 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,840 GROANING AND YELLING 607 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:38,880 Stop it! It hurts! 608 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,400 Stop it! It hurts! 609 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:41,440 Come on, Carl, take it like a man. 610 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,640 Come on, Carl, take it like a man. 611 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:44,680 (Groans and grunts) Jesus, you're killing me! 612 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,080 (Groans and grunts) Jesus, you're killing me! 613 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:47,120 What the hell's going on? 614 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,600 What the hell's going on? 615 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:48,640 Arggh! (Sighs in relief) 616 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,800 Arggh! (Sighs in relief) 617 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:50,840 Carl's letting me practise waxing his back for an upcoming segment. 618 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,480 Carl's letting me practise waxing his back for an upcoming segment. 619 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:53,520 Christ. 620 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,080 Christ. 621 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:55,120 I thought you were practising something else. 622 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,320 I thought you were practising something else. 623 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:57,360 OK, that's it. I...I've had it. 624 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,800 OK, that's it. I...I've had it. 625 00:15:59,800 --> 00:15:59,840 You're only half-waxed. 626 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,400 You're only half-waxed. 627 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:01,440 Yeah, and if you go down any further, I'll be half-assed. 628 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,880 Yeah, and if you go down any further, I'll be half-assed. 629 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:06,600 How about you, Deb? You want me to give you a landing strip? 630 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,200 How about you, Deb? You want me to give you a landing strip? 631 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:09,240 Thanks, but I prefer to keep the entire airport. 632 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:13,040 Thanks, but I prefer to keep the entire airport. 633 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:13,080 You got a temperature? 634 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,720 You got a temperature? 635 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:14,760 No. Damn it! 636 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,680 No. Damn it! 637 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:19,520 What did the new doctor say? 638 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,080 What did the new doctor say? 639 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:21,120 He said I'm dying... of perfect health. 640 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,760 He said I'm dying... of perfect health. 641 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:23,800 Wise-ass. 642 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,160 Wise-ass. 643 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:26,200 Maybe this will bring down my fever. 644 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,080 Maybe this will bring down my fever. 645 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:28,120 You just said you don't have a fever. 646 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,680 You just said you don't have a fever. 647 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:30,720 That's what the thermometer said. I know I'm burning up. 648 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,560 That's what the thermometer said. I know I'm burning up. 649 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:42,880 Deb, do you...think I'm physically attractive? 650 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,080 Deb, do you...think I'm physically attractive? 651 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:46,120 You know...sexy? 652 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,160 You know...sexy? 653 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:48,200 Well... 654 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,480 Well... 655 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:50,520 Keeping in mind that I'm a heterosexual woman of a certain age, 656 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,920 Keeping in mind that I'm a heterosexual woman of a certain age, 657 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:53,960 and you're queer as they come... 658 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,200 and you're queer as they come... 659 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:56,240 ..fuck, yeah. 660 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,640 ..fuck, yeah. 661 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:57,680 Good. 662 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,160 Good. 663 00:16:59,160 --> 00:16:59,200 Because Brian said the only reason people like the Queer Guy 664 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,480 Because Brian said the only reason people like the Queer Guy 665 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:02,520 is because I'm non-threatening, sexless, a...eunuch. 666 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,800 is because I'm non-threatening, sexless, a...eunuch. 667 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:05,840 What the fuck's he know? 668 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,280 What the fuck's he know? 669 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:07,320 Actually, a lot. 670 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,240 Actually, a lot. 671 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:09,280 Yeah? Well, he's wrong. 672 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,760 Yeah? Well, he's wrong. 673 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:10,800 Hell, you have more sex than anyone I know. 674 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,600 Hell, you have more sex than anyone I know. 675 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:13,640 Except me, of course... 676 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,560 Except me, of course... 677 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:15,600 ..since Carl moved in. 678 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,200 ..since Carl moved in. 679 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:18,960 Let's face it, honey, 680 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,720 Let's face it, honey, 681 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:20,760 most viewers don't want to think about gays having sex. 682 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,360 most viewers don't want to think about gays having sex. 683 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:23,400 I mean, the thought of two guys kissing - 684 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,280 I mean, the thought of two guys kissing - 685 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:25,320 much less, um...you know, taking it up the ass - 686 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:29,440 much less, um...you know, taking it up the ass - 687 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:29,480 it just makes them uncomfortable. 688 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,520 it just makes them uncomfortable. 689 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:31,560 Brian said that too. 690 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,800 Brian said that too. 691 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:35,880 Well, you know something? 692 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,280 Well, you know something? 693 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:38,320 It's time they got over it. 694 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,000 It's time they got over it. 695 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:57,360 Mind spotting me? 696 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,960 Mind spotting me? 697 00:17:58,960 --> 00:17:59,000 Sure. 698 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,480 Sure. 699 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:13,680 Don't I know you? 700 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,120 Don't I know you? 701 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:16,160 I don't think so. 702 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,600 I don't think so. 703 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:19,360 I'm Troy. 704 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,800 I'm Troy. 705 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:21,840 Teddy. 706 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,320 Teddy. 707 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:26,480 Hey, I know where I know you from. 708 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,480 Hey, I know where I know you from. 709 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:29,520 You do? 710 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,960 You do? 711 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:31,000 South Beach, right? 712 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,440 South Beach, right? 713 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:32,480 We hooked up. 714 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:33,880 We hooked up. 715 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:34,920 Nope. Never been there. 716 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,520 Nope. Never been there. 717 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:37,560 Oh. 718 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,000 Oh. 719 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:39,040 Well, would you like to? 720 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,440 Well, would you like to? 721 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:41,840 Go to South Beach? 722 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,360 Go to South Beach? 723 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:43,400 Hook up. 724 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,800 Hook up. 725 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:55,000 Sure. 726 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000 Sure. 727 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:57,040 And in our research we've found 728 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,520 And in our research we've found 729 00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:58,560 that once a woman reaches the age of 35, 730 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,560 that once a woman reaches the age of 35, 731 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:00,600 she's all but invisible to most men. 732 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,200 she's all but invisible to most men. 733 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:03,240 And you want to make them visible again. 734 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,480 And you want to make them visible again. 735 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:06,920 Or at least make them think that they can be. 736 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,840 Or at least make them think that they can be. 737 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:09,880 Our new anti-ageing cream offers hope, 738 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,760 Our new anti-ageing cream offers hope, 739 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:11,800 more confidence and a few less wrinkles. 740 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,720 more confidence and a few less wrinkles. 741 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:13,760 All we need is a brilliant campaign and a perfect product name. 742 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,760 All we need is a brilliant campaign and a perfect product name. 743 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:18,400 Um... Sure I can come up with something. 744 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,400 Um... Sure I can come up with something. 745 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:23,480 You men are so damn lucky you never have to worry about such things. 746 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,160 You men are so damn lucky you never have to worry about such things. 747 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:31,560 Don't be so sure. 748 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,160 Don't be so sure. 749 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:38,680 Visible. 750 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,120 Visible. 751 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:41,160 What? 752 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,360 What? 753 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:42,400 That's the name of your new product. 754 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,680 That's the name of your new product. 755 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:44,720 Visible? Mmm. 756 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,120 Visible? Mmm. 757 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:47,160 I like that. 758 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,600 I like that. 759 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:48,640 Visible. 760 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,040 Visible. 761 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:52,360 Hey, you came up with it. 762 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,080 Hey, you came up with it. 763 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:54,120 You just didn't know it. 764 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,560 You just didn't know it. 765 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:55,600 Would you excuse me for a minute? Mm-hm. 766 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,400 Would you excuse me for a minute? Mm-hm. 767 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:57,440 FUNKY MUSIC 768 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,360 FUNKY MUSIC 769 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:01,120 (Clears throat) 770 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,560 (Clears throat) 771 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:04,480 Aren't you glad your asshole parents worked through their shit? 772 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,840 Aren't you glad your asshole parents worked through their shit? 773 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:07,880 (Coos) Yes. 774 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,280 (Coos) Yes. 775 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:09,320 'Cause now Grandma can hold you 776 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,400 'Cause now Grandma can hold you 777 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:11,440 without one of them thinking I'm a goddamn traitor. 778 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,960 without one of them thinking I'm a goddamn traitor. 779 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:14,000 (Cries) That's right. Ohh. 780 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,280 (Cries) That's right. Ohh. 781 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:16,320 Boy, you sure know how to sweet-talk a baby, Deb. 782 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,280 Boy, you sure know how to sweet-talk a baby, Deb. 783 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:19,320 I'm just glad it all worked out. 784 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,880 I'm just glad it all worked out. 785 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:20,920 Yeah. We'll see. 786 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,280 Yeah. We'll see. 787 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:23,320 Hey, Kiki, where the fuck's my check? 788 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,080 Hey, Kiki, where the fuck's my check? 789 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:25,120 I already grew tits. You want me to grow another hand? 790 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:28,440 I already grew tits. You want me to grow another hand? 791 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:29,880 Boy, things aren't quite the same around here since you left. 792 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:33,080 Boy, things aren't quite the same around here since you left. 793 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:33,120 Boy, so I notice. 794 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,520 Boy, so I notice. 795 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:35,600 MAN: Excuse me. Miss. MAN 2: This is cold. 796 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,360 MAN: Excuse me. Miss. MAN 2: This is cold. 797 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:38,400 I don't know. 798 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,880 I don't know. 799 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:39,920 The way I've been feeling lately, I barely have the energy to crawl here. 800 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,560 The way I've been feeling lately, I barely have the energy to crawl here. 801 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:43,600 Have you been to see a... 802 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,080 Have you been to see a... 803 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:45,120 Five of them. All claim to have degrees. 804 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:46,800 Five of them. All claim to have degrees. 805 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:46,840 Not one of them says they can tell me what's wrong. 806 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,960 Not one of them says they can tell me what's wrong. 807 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:49,000 Hey, can we get a menu? 808 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,440 Hey, can we get a menu? 809 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:50,480 I asked for cream. 810 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,120 I asked for cream. 811 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:52,160 Where's my fucking lunch? 812 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,720 Where's my fucking lunch? 813 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:53,760 Your food is up. 814 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,200 Your food is up. 815 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:55,240 Ohh. 816 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,920 Ohh. 817 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:56,960 I'm a trannie on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 818 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,640 I'm a trannie on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 819 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:00,800 Sit down. Calm your nerves. 820 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,720 Sit down. Calm your nerves. 821 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:02,760 FUNKY MUSIC 822 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,680 FUNKY MUSIC 823 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:06,920 That's the fish and chips with slaw, the turkey burger with fries. 824 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,920 That's the fish and chips with slaw, the turkey burger with fries. 825 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:09,960 Here are your menus. Specials are on the board. 826 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,000 Here are your menus. Specials are on the board. 827 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:13,320 Two percent. It's better for you than cream. 828 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,640 Two percent. It's better for you than cream. 829 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:23,120 Deb, I think I know what's wrong with you. 830 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,480 Deb, I think I know what's wrong with you. 831 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:25,520 Yeah? 832 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,040 Yeah? 833 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:27,080 BFM. 834 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,040 BFM. 835 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:30,080 BFM? 836 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,480 BFM? 837 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:33,800 It sounds serious. 838 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,240 It sounds serious. 839 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:36,280 What is it? 840 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,800 What is it? 841 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:37,840 Bored out of your fucking mind. 842 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,680 Bored out of your fucking mind. 843 00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:44,400 Mmm. 844 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:45,840 Mmm. 845 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:47,240 Listen up, straight boys. 846 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,040 Listen up, straight boys. 847 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:49,080 Take a tip from the Queer Guy. 848 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,760 Take a tip from the Queer Guy. 849 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:50,800 Wearing these will not get you where you wanna go. 850 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,280 Wearing these will not get you where you wanna go. 851 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:54,320 Comprenez-vous? 852 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,720 Comprenez-vous? 853 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:55,760 These, however, 854 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,920 These, however, 855 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:57,960 will definitely generate a little friction. 856 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,160 will definitely generate a little friction. 857 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:00,200 I know because they happen to be my very own pair. 858 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,400 I know because they happen to be my very own pair. 859 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:03,440 They set off your nice tight... assets. 860 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,960 They set off your nice tight... assets. 861 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:08,000 And notice the pouch in the crotch. 862 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,800 And notice the pouch in the crotch. 863 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:11,840 If you need a little help, you can stuff a sock or hamster in there. 864 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:16,800 If you need a little help, you can stuff a sock or hamster in there. 865 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:16,840 I certainly don't need the cavalry to come to my rescue. 866 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,440 I certainly don't need the cavalry to come to my rescue. 867 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:19,480 My cup is filled to the rim. 868 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,760 My cup is filled to the rim. 869 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:21,800 Which leads us to another topic. 870 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,560 Which leads us to another topic. 871 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:24,600 But not tonight. 872 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,040 But not tonight. 873 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:26,080 I'm the Queer Guy. Be fabulous. 874 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,000 I'm the Queer Guy. Be fabulous. 875 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:33,840 Thank you, Queer Guy, for that brief report. 876 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,080 Thank you, Queer Guy, for that brief report. 877 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:37,120 That's the news. We'll be back at 11:00. 878 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,280 That's the news. We'll be back at 11:00. 879 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:39,320 MAN: We're out. 880 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,720 MAN: We're out. 881 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:42,960 I thought you told me you were gonna talk about hair-waxing. 882 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,440 I thought you told me you were gonna talk about hair-waxing. 883 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:46,480 Well, yeah, waxing is vital, but it's not sexy. 884 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,480 Well, yeah, waxing is vital, but it's not sexy. 885 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:49,520 Sexy? Who wants sexy? 886 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,120 Sexy? Who wants sexy? 887 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:52,160 Don, you've only been married a few weeks 888 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,920 Don, you've only been married a few weeks 889 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:53,960 and already you can make a statement like that? 890 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,800 and already you can make a statement like that? 891 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:55,840 You may need counselling. 892 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,320 You may need counselling. 893 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:57,360 And you may need unemployment insurance. 894 00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:58,840 And you may need unemployment insurance. 895 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:00,280 What? 896 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,800 What? 897 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:01,840 Don't ever show us your... shorts again. 898 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:06,600 Don't ever show us your... shorts again. 899 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:06,640 It's just underwear. 900 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,240 It's just underwear. 901 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:08,280 You don't have to air them in public. 902 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,840 You don't have to air them in public. 903 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:09,880 And no-one wants to know that you have a tight... 904 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,320 And no-one wants to know that you have a tight... 905 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:15,520 Ass? 906 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:16,840 Ass? 907 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:16,880 Or a big... Dick? 908 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,000 Or a big... Dick? 909 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:19,040 And that you... Fuck? 910 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,800 And that you... Fuck? 911 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:20,840 Well, here's a piece of news for you - I do. 912 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,840 Well, here's a piece of news for you - I do. 913 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:23,880 Well, from now on, stick to cooking and flowers 914 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,080 Well, from now on, stick to cooking and flowers 915 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:26,120 and turning straight guys into metrosexuals, 916 00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:27,920 and turning straight guys into metrosexuals, 917 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:27,960 and leave your sex life offscreen. 918 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,440 and leave your sex life offscreen. 919 00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:32,400 Get McGregor on the phone now. 920 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,000 Get McGregor on the phone now. 921 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:36,760 MAN: We could turn off the back light, yeah. 922 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,840 MAN: We could turn off the back light, yeah. 923 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:42,040 You can stay for at least an hour. 924 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,840 You can stay for at least an hour. 925 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:43,880 I told you, I'm making a special guest appearance 926 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,760 I told you, I'm making a special guest appearance 927 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:45,800 then I'm out of here. 928 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,240 then I'm out of here. 929 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:47,280 It's for Michael. 930 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,280 It's for Michael. 931 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:48,320 He should understand better than anyone. 932 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,920 He should understand better than anyone. 933 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:49,960 The first rule of going to a sex party is don't come late, 934 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,480 The first rule of going to a sex party is don't come late, 935 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:52,520 otherwise you may not come at all. 936 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,000 otherwise you may not come at all. 937 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,040 Well, that certainly gives new meaning to 938 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,440 Well, that certainly gives new meaning to 939 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:55,480 "the early bird catches the worm." 940 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,240 "the early bird catches the worm." 941 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:57,280 Hi. I'm glad you could come. 942 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,400 Hi. I'm glad you could come. 943 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:01,680 It's all I've been living for. 944 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,200 It's all I've been living for. 945 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:03,240 Happy house-warming. 946 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,720 Happy house-warming. 947 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:07,640 Is it a harness and paddle to go with the sling? 948 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,920 Is it a harness and paddle to go with the sling? 949 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:09,960 No. I picked this one. 950 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,360 No. I picked this one. 951 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:14,200 You guys have done a great job. 952 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,680 You guys have done a great job. 953 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:15,720 Oh, we're not through. 954 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,160 Oh, we're not through. 955 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:17,200 Trust me, you're never through. 956 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,640 Trust me, you're never through. 957 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:18,680 All it takes is time. 958 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,400 All it takes is time. 959 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:20,440 And money. 960 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:21,880 And money. 961 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:21,920 Yeah, tell me about it. 962 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,360 Yeah, tell me about it. 963 00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:23,400 OK, say something for posterity. 964 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,040 OK, say something for posterity. 965 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:26,080 I'm fucking starving. 966 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,840 I'm fucking starving. 967 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:27,880 (All laugh) 968 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:29,000 (All laugh) 969 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:29,040 Oh. Shit. 970 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,520 Oh. Shit. 971 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:30,560 It's OK, Deb, I wanted something for posterity. 972 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,280 It's OK, Deb, I wanted something for posterity. 973 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:33,320 Um... (Clears throat) 974 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,120 Um... (Clears throat) 975 00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:35,160 Posterity. 976 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,600 Posterity. 977 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:36,640 Now, let's see. 978 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,040 Now, let's see. 979 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:39,320 I'm very proud of you both 980 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,240 I'm very proud of you both 981 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:41,280 and I wish you all the health and happiness in the world 982 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,040 and I wish you all the health and happiness in the world 983 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:45,080 in your beautiful new home. 984 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,600 in your beautiful new home. 985 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:47,640 How's that? 986 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,000 How's that? 987 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:49,040 Perfect. 988 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,440 Perfect. 989 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:52,840 It's amazing what the gays have done with this neighbourhood. 990 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,800 It's amazing what the gays have done with this neighbourhood. 991 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:55,840 It used to be whorehouses and bookie joints. 992 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,880 It used to be whorehouses and bookie joints. 993 00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:57,920 I know. I used to hang out here all the time. 994 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,080 I know. I used to hang out here all the time. 995 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:00,120 Really? DOORBELL RINGS 996 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,520 Really? DOORBELL RINGS 997 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:01,560 When I was a beat cop. 998 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,000 When I was a beat cop. 999 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:03,040 I'll get it. 1000 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,480 I'll get it. 1001 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:08,080 Hi. Come on in. 1002 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,600 Hi. Come on in. 1003 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:09,640 Hey, honey bun. 1004 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,040 Hey, honey bun. 1005 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:12,120 Thanks for inviting me, 1006 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,840 Thanks for inviting me, 1007 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:13,880 even though...I mean... 1008 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,480 even though...I mean... 1009 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:16,520 We're still family, aren't we? 1010 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,160 We're still family, aren't we? 1011 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:20,560 Happy new house. 1012 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,080 Happy new house. 1013 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:22,120 Thanks. Do you mind if I show her off? 1014 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:24,080 Thanks. Do you mind if I show her off? 1015 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:24,120 Be my guest. 1016 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,520 Be my guest. 1017 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:27,840 Everyone, meet my beautiful daughter. 1018 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,520 Everyone, meet my beautiful daughter. 1019 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:30,560 ALL: Aww. 1020 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,240 ALL: Aww. 1021 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:33,280 Hi, baby. 1022 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,160 Hi, baby. 1023 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:35,200 Ah, look who it is. 1024 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,760 Ah, look who it is. 1025 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:39,040 First I'm gonna give him the fucking of his life 1026 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,040 First I'm gonna give him the fucking of his life 1027 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:41,080 and then I'm gonna give him the mindfucking of his life. 1028 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,240 and then I'm gonna give him the mindfucking of his life. 1029 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:43,280 I'm gonna say, "Once I was your pity fuck, 1030 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,040 I'm gonna say, "Once I was your pity fuck, 1031 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:45,080 "but tonight you're mine, you arrogant asshole." 1032 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,080 "but tonight you're mine, you arrogant asshole." 1033 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:47,120 (Laughs) Speaking of which... 1034 00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:49,760 (Laughs) Speaking of which... 1035 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:49,800 Aren't you two aunties gonna go ooh and ahh over the baby? 1036 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,640 Aren't you two aunties gonna go ooh and ahh over the baby? 1037 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:55,480 Caught your underpants on the news the other night. 1038 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,520 Caught your underpants on the news the other night. 1039 00:26:58,800 --> 00:26:58,840 You saving your dick for sweeps? 1040 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,840 You saving your dick for sweeps? 1041 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:00,880 My producer happened to think it was a terrific segment. 1042 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,400 My producer happened to think it was a terrific segment. 1043 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:03,440 Yeah, he said it was about time 1044 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,600 Yeah, he said it was about time 1045 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:05,640 we saw gay people as full sexualised human beings, 1046 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,360 we saw gay people as full sexualised human beings, 1047 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:08,400 not just stereotypic eunuchs and clowns. 1048 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,040 not just stereotypic eunuchs and clowns. 1049 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:13,080 Now, if you'll excuse me. 1050 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,520 Now, if you'll excuse me. 1051 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:22,440 Your daughter's a hit. 1052 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,040 Your daughter's a hit. 1053 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:24,080 Hmm. I'd say so. 1054 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,520 Hmm. I'd say so. 1055 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:27,480 I'm glad you came. 1056 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,360 I'm glad you came. 1057 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:29,400 Mmm... For no other reason, I'm starving. 1058 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,360 Mmm... For no other reason, I'm starving. 1059 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:34,520 Makes me think of our house-warming. 1060 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,960 Makes me think of our house-warming. 1061 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:38,480 Huh. 1062 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,040 Huh. 1063 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:40,080 If anyone needs proof that toilets are controlled by cosmic forces... 1064 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,040 If anyone needs proof that toilets are controlled by cosmic forces... 1065 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:43,080 Why else would they break down 10 minutes before the guests showed up? 1066 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,040 Why else would they break down 10 minutes before the guests showed up? 1067 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:46,080 100 dykes peeing in the backyard. 1068 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,920 100 dykes peeing in the backyard. 1069 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:47,960 The bushes in the bushes. 1070 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,360 The bushes in the bushes. 1071 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:51,240 (Both laugh) 1072 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,480 (Both laugh) 1073 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:56,360 GLASSES CLINK 1074 00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:57,920 GLASSES CLINK 1075 00:27:57,920 --> 00:27:57,960 Everybody... Could we have your attention? 1076 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,840 Everybody... Could we have your attention? 1077 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:00,880 We'd just like to welcome all of you to our new home. 1078 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:05,920 We'd just like to welcome all of you to our new home. 1079 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:05,960 Beautiful new home. 1080 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,680 Beautiful new home. 1081 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:07,720 And we look forward to sharing many happy family occasions here together. 1082 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:12,720 And we look forward to sharing many happy family occasions here together. 1083 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:12,760 (All cheer) Hear, hear. 1084 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,720 (All cheer) Hear, hear. 1085 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:14,760 Happy family occasions. 1086 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,760 Happy family occasions. 1087 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:16,800 We also have another reason to celebrate tonight. 1088 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,840 We also have another reason to celebrate tonight. 1089 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:20,880 Rage and J.T. are getting married. 1090 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,760 Rage and J.T. are getting married. 1091 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:24,800 It's about time those two superheroes settled down. 1092 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,160 It's about time those two superheroes settled down. 1093 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:27,200 When do they start raising a superfamily? 1094 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,560 When do they start raising a superfamily? 1095 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:29,600 That's next. 1096 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,080 That's next. 1097 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:31,120 Got a copy for everyone. Our little house-warming gift to you. 1098 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:34,040 Got a copy for everyone. Our little house-warming gift to you. 1099 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:34,080 MAN: Thank you. 1100 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,520 MAN: Thank you. 1101 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:35,560 Here you go, Brian. 1102 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,280 Here you go, Brian. 1103 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:41,680 Here you are. 1104 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,160 Here you are. 1105 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:43,200 Do you like it? 1106 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,600 Do you like it? 1107 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:46,120 It reminds me of this Norman Rockwell 1108 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,040 It reminds me of this Norman Rockwell 1109 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:48,080 I saw in the doctor's office when I was a kid. 1110 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,280 I saw in the doctor's office when I was a kid. 1111 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:50,320 A little girl and boy dressed as bride and groom 1112 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,120 A little girl and boy dressed as bride and groom 1113 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:54,160 and their adorable puppy tugging on the bridal gown. 1114 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:57,400 and their adorable puppy tugging on the bridal gown. 1115 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:57,440 Just then the nurse came in and stabbed me in the finger for blood. 1116 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,640 Just then the nurse came in and stabbed me in the finger for blood. 1117 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:00,680 And you've had an aversion to marriage ever since? 1118 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,240 And you've had an aversion to marriage ever since? 1119 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:03,280 Well, I happen to think it's a damn good story. 1120 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,760 Well, I happen to think it's a damn good story. 1121 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:05,800 Just because it doesn't agree with your anti-family values 1122 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,560 Just because it doesn't agree with your anti-family values 1123 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:08,600 is no reason to dump on it. 1124 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,000 is no reason to dump on it. 1125 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:12,160 OK. 1126 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,600 OK. 1127 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:22,280 Let's get the whole family. 1128 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:23,760 Let's get the whole family. 1129 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:23,800 How do you work this thing? 1130 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,280 How do you work this thing? 1131 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:25,320 Good idea. I'll get Jerry, you get Hunter. 1132 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,520 Good idea. I'll get Jerry, you get Hunter. 1133 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:27,560 OK. 1134 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:28,960 OK. 1135 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:31,720 Hey, pal. We're taking a video of the whole family. Care to join us? 1136 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,320 Hey, pal. We're taking a video of the whole family. Care to join us? 1137 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:35,360 What do you want me for? 1138 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:36,840 What do you want me for? 1139 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:42,880 TECHNO MUSIC 1140 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,840 TECHNO MUSIC 1141 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:19,640 If a better offer comes along... 1142 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,680 If a better offer comes along... 1143 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:43,800 That'll be $5.25. 1144 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,960 That'll be $5.25. 1145 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:46,000 Thanks. 1146 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,560 Thanks. 1147 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:47,600 Another satisfied customer. 1148 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,560 Another satisfied customer. 1149 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:49,600 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 1150 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,080 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 1151 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:51,120 You know, you say that every time you sell one. 1152 00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,280 You know, you say that every time you sell one. 1153 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:53,320 I do? Well, it must be true. 1154 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,320 I do? Well, it must be true. 1155 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:55,360 We've sold 536 copies on the website and almost 200 here in the store. 1156 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,720 We've sold 536 copies on the website and almost 200 here in the store. 1157 00:30:58,720 --> 00:30:58,760 Those are all we have left. 1158 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,760 Those are all we have left. 1159 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:00,800 Everybody loves that J.T. finally got his man. 1160 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,040 Everybody loves that J.T. finally got his man. 1161 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:03,080 Yeah. Everyone but you know who. 1162 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,920 Yeah. Everyone but you know who. 1163 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:05,960 Yeah, I do know who. 1164 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,040 Yeah, I do know who. 1165 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:09,160 Well? 1166 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,160 Well? 1167 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:10,200 Well, what did you expect? 1168 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:11,760 Well, what did you expect? 1169 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:11,800 What did I expect? 1170 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,760 What did I expect? 1171 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:15,120 That life might imitate art. 1172 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,160 That life might imitate art. 1173 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:17,200 I've heard it's been known to happen. 1174 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,720 I've heard it's been known to happen. 1175 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:20,760 Ah, how could I have been suckered in to my own fantasy? 1176 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,320 Ah, how could I have been suckered in to my own fantasy? 1177 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:23,360 Talk about pathetic. 1178 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,040 Talk about pathetic. 1179 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:25,080 Nobody on earth knows better than I do 1180 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,840 Nobody on earth knows better than I do 1181 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:27,880 that unless he were genetically altered by some nuclear mishap, 1182 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,680 that unless he were genetically altered by some nuclear mishap, 1183 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:30,720 that could never happen. 1184 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,800 that could never happen. 1185 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:32,840 Not a bad story. 1186 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,680 Not a bad story. 1187 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:34,720 Mm. But that's all it is. It's a story. 1188 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,600 Mm. But that's all it is. It's a story. 1189 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:37,640 DOOR OPENS 1190 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,920 DOOR OPENS 1191 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:39,960 Do you have the new issue of 'Rage'? 1192 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,400 Do you have the new issue of 'Rage'? 1193 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:44,120 This is totally awesome. 1194 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,080 This is totally awesome. 1195 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:49,640 Another satisfied customer. 1196 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,840 Another satisfied customer. 1197 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:53,600 (Groans) 1198 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,200 (Groans) 1199 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:56,760 Well, I think the house has been officially warmed, 1200 00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:01,120 Well, I think the house has been officially warmed, 1201 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:01,160 wouldn't you say? 1202 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,320 wouldn't you say? 1203 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:05,360 Great party, huh? 1204 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:06,840 Great party, huh? 1205 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:06,880 Everybody seemed to have a good time. 1206 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,760 Everybody seemed to have a good time. 1207 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:10,800 Yeah. 1208 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,120 Yeah. 1209 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:13,160 If you call Melanie and Lindsay declaring a cease-fire, 1210 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:16,120 If you call Melanie and Lindsay declaring a cease-fire, 1211 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:16,160 Brian leaving to go to a sex party 1212 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,040 Brian leaving to go to a sex party 1213 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:19,080 and you and Michael sticking that fucking camera in my face, 1214 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,600 and you and Michael sticking that fucking camera in my face, 1215 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:21,640 pretending we're this happy family, 1216 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,080 pretending we're this happy family, 1217 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:23,120 having a good time. 1218 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,560 having a good time. 1219 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:24,600 We're not pretending. We are. 1220 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,520 We're not pretending. We are. 1221 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:31,560 You're gonna get through this. 1222 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,720 You're gonna get through this. 1223 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:34,760 I promise. 1224 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,240 I promise. 1225 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:37,280 Fuck your false hope. 1226 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,840 Fuck your false hope. 1227 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:40,600 The world's a stinking shit-hole. 1228 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,000 The world's a stinking shit-hole. 1229 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:47,440 Well, I don't think Sartre could have said it any better. 1230 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,280 Well, I don't think Sartre could have said it any better. 1231 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:51,320 Who? 1232 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,000 Who? 1233 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:55,520 Listen, I found a great charter school. 1234 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,240 Listen, I found a great charter school. 1235 00:32:59,240 --> 00:32:59,280 They have a waiting list a mile long 1236 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,000 They have a waiting list a mile long 1237 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:01,040 but a professor in my department is on the board, 1238 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:02,960 but a professor in my department is on the board, 1239 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:03,000 so I pulled a few strings... 1240 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,440 so I pulled a few strings... 1241 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:04,480 Why even bother? Huh? 1242 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,720 Why even bother? Huh? 1243 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:06,760 They'll just find out there, too, 1244 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,240 They'll just find out there, too, 1245 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:08,280 and then it will start all over again. 1246 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,800 and then it will start all over again. 1247 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:11,920 So what's the point of my going to another fucking school?! 1248 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,240 So what's the point of my going to another fucking school?! 1249 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:23,200 (Sighs) 1250 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,320 (Sighs) 1251 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:27,200 I haven't been here since you left. 1252 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,920 I haven't been here since you left. 1253 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:29,960 Somehow, it's not the same. 1254 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,480 Somehow, it's not the same. 1255 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:32,520 Yeah. 1256 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,080 Yeah. 1257 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:34,120 Neither am I. 1258 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:35,960 Neither am I. 1259 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:37,320 Carl? 1260 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:38,280 Carl? 1261 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:39,920 Honey, I found out what's wrong with me. 1262 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,560 Honey, I found out what's wrong with me. 1263 00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:45,200 I just want you to know... 1264 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:46,840 I just want you to know... 1265 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:47,960 ..that whatever it is... 1266 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,960 ..that whatever it is... 1267 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:50,000 (Sighs) 1268 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,680 (Sighs) 1269 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:51,720 ..I'm in this for the long haul. 1270 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,800 ..I'm in this for the long haul. 1271 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:53,840 I'll stand by you. I'm not going anywhere. 1272 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:55,760 I'll stand by you. I'm not going anywhere. 1273 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:57,520 I know that, sweetheart. That's why I love you. 1274 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,360 I know that, sweetheart. That's why I love you. 1275 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:00,400 OK. Tell me. No, wait. 1276 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,240 OK. Tell me. No, wait. 1277 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:03,280 Wait. 1278 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,000 Wait. 1279 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:06,240 OK. Tell me. 1280 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,680 OK. Tell me. 1281 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:08,720 First of all, 1282 00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:10,520 First of all, 1283 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:10,560 it's not a physical thing. 1284 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,000 it's not a physical thing. 1285 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:12,040 Oh! Ooh! 1286 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,600 Oh! Ooh! 1287 00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:15,760 That's a relief. 1288 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,200 That's a relief. 1289 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:18,440 Then, what? 1290 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:19,640 Then, what? 1291 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:21,680 It's hard to explain. 1292 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,160 It's hard to explain. 1293 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:26,120 Ever since I left here, I've felt lost. 1294 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,360 Ever since I left here, I've felt lost. 1295 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:28,400 I've no place to go, 1296 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,440 I've no place to go, 1297 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:31,480 I got nothing to do but sit at home 1298 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,400 I got nothing to do but sit at home 1299 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:33,440 and buy lots of shit that I don't want off TV. 1300 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,600 and buy lots of shit that I don't want off TV. 1301 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:35,640 That's what a lady of leisure's supposed to do. 1302 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,600 That's what a lady of leisure's supposed to do. 1303 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:37,640 I mean, you know, relax, enjoy yourself 1304 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,760 I mean, you know, relax, enjoy yourself 1305 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:41,800 and be glad you don't have to work. 1306 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:43,800 and be glad you don't have to work. 1307 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:43,840 It's funny. I never thought of it as work. 1308 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,120 It's funny. I never thought of it as work. 1309 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:46,160 All those long, hard hours, on your feet... 1310 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,360 All those long, hard hours, on your feet... 1311 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:49,400 ..juggling plates. 1312 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,560 ..juggling plates. 1313 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:51,600 To me, it was more like a dance. 1314 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,120 To me, it was more like a dance. 1315 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:54,160 And I was the prima ballerina. 1316 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,880 And I was the prima ballerina. 1317 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:56,920 This is not exactly the, uh... 1318 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,560 This is not exactly the, uh... 1319 00:34:59,560 --> 00:34:59,600 ..Royal Ballet of Pittsburgh. 1320 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,720 ..Royal Ballet of Pittsburgh. 1321 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:03,120 But it's my job. 1322 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,560 But it's my job. 1323 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:06,160 No, it's more than a job. 1324 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,400 No, it's more than a job. 1325 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:08,440 It's who I am. 1326 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,560 It's who I am. 1327 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:12,640 And I want it back. 1328 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,280 And I want it back. 1329 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:15,800 (Sighs) 1330 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,080 (Sighs) 1331 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:18,120 I-I was just... 1332 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,160 I-I was just... 1333 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:20,200 ..trying to make it easier on...on you. 1334 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,240 ..trying to make it easier on...on you. 1335 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:23,280 But...if this'll make you happy... 1336 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:27,720 But...if this'll make you happy... 1337 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:27,760 (Laughs) 1338 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,200 (Laughs) 1339 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:29,240 ..like I said, I'll stand by you. 1340 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:32,120 ..like I said, I'll stand by you. 1341 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:32,160 Uh, I'm not going anywhere. 1342 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,800 Uh, I'm not going anywhere. 1343 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:35,840 Thank you, Carl. 1344 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,360 Thank you, Carl. 1345 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:40,680 Now, you sure you're OK with this? 1346 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,200 Now, you sure you're OK with this? 1347 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:44,640 100% sure. 1348 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,120 100% sure. 1349 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:46,160 Good. 1350 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,400 Good. 1351 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:48,440 'Cause my shift started five minutes ago. 1352 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,800 'Cause my shift started five minutes ago. 1353 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:50,840 (Laughs) 1354 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,440 (Laughs) 1355 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:53,480 So... 1356 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:54,920 So... 1357 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:54,960 ..what'll it be? 1358 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,120 ..what'll it be? 1359 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:57,160 (Carl laughs) 1360 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:58,880 (Carl laughs) 1361 00:35:58,880 --> 00:35:58,920 (Moans) (Grunts) 1362 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,800 (Moans) (Grunts) 1363 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:05,680 (Laughs) 1364 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:07,560 (Laughs) 1365 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:07,600 Ah! 1366 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,120 Ah! 1367 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:09,160 Whoo! 1368 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,640 Whoo! 1369 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:10,680 That was hot! 1370 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,520 That was hot! 1371 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:12,560 (Pants) 1372 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,960 (Pants) 1373 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:15,000 Think so? 1374 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,480 Think so? 1375 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:16,520 Yeah. 1376 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,120 Yeah. 1377 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:18,160 (Opens bin) 1378 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,600 (Opens bin) 1379 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:19,640 You know, I've been here before. 1380 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,720 You know, I've been here before. 1381 00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:23,760 Oh? 1382 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,400 Oh? 1383 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:25,440 I mean, in this building. 1384 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,440 I mean, in this building. 1385 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:27,480 Fucked some poor loser. 1386 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,480 Fucked some poor loser. 1387 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:31,040 Yeah, well, the place is crawling with them. 1388 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,960 Yeah, well, the place is crawling with them. 1389 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:34,000 Believe me, I know. 1390 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,640 Believe me, I know. 1391 00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:35,680 (Laughs) Hmm. 1392 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,720 (Laughs) Hmm. 1393 00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:37,760 One of my pity fucks. 1394 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,720 One of my pity fucks. 1395 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:39,760 Yeah, speaking of pity fucks... 1396 00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,040 Yeah, speaking of pity fucks... 1397 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:42,080 You know, 1398 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,560 You know, 1399 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:43,600 when we first hooked up at the gym, I wasn't sure. 1400 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,800 when we first hooked up at the gym, I wasn't sure. 1401 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:46,840 That I was your type? 1402 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,400 That I was your type? 1403 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:48,440 That you'd be so...hot. 1404 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,200 That you'd be so...hot. 1405 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:51,240 But, man, are you ever. 1406 00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:53,320 But, man, are you ever. 1407 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:54,880 Look. 1408 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,360 Look. 1409 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:56,400 I'm still hard. 1410 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,480 I'm still hard. 1411 00:36:59,480 --> 00:36:59,520 You up for another round? 1412 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,960 You up for another round? 1413 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:04,200 Actually, there's something I want to say to you. 1414 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,600 Actually, there's something I want to say to you. 1415 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:06,640 That you want to roll me over and fuck me again? 1416 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,520 That you want to roll me over and fuck me again? 1417 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:13,520 What I want to... 1418 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,200 What I want to... 1419 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:16,640 ..what I want to say to...to you... 1420 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,080 ..what I want to say to...to you... 1421 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:20,160 ..is, uh... 1422 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:21,840 ..is, uh... 1423 00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:24,720 Roll over. 1424 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:26,880 Roll over. 1425 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:29,200 Oh, yeah. 1426 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,560 Oh, yeah. 1427 00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:32,640 Michael, we can't force him to go to school. 1428 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,320 Michael, we can't force him to go to school. 1429 00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:35,360 Of course we can. We're his parents. Hell, he's only 17. 1430 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,120 Of course we can. We're his parents. Hell, he's only 17. 1431 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:38,160 You can quit school when you're 16. 1432 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,200 You can quit school when you're 16. 1433 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:40,240 Besides, if we pressure him, we'll only push him away more. 1434 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:42,760 Besides, if we pressure him, we'll only push him away more. 1435 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:42,800 He's got to finish high school 1436 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,800 He's got to finish high school 1437 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:44,840 so he can go to college and become a doctor and a lawyer 1438 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,360 so he can go to college and become a doctor and a lawyer 1439 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:47,400 and President of the United States. 1440 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,560 and President of the United States. 1441 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:52,000 What was that for? 1442 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,520 What was that for? 1443 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:53,560 The eternal optimist. That's why I love you. 1444 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,560 The eternal optimist. That's why I love you. 1445 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:55,600 Now, let's just give him some time and some space 1446 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,280 Now, let's just give him some time and some space 1447 00:37:58,280 --> 00:37:58,320 and, hopefully, he'll come to the right decision. 1448 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,400 and, hopefully, he'll come to the right decision. 1449 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:07,480 Oh. Hey, I was just about to call you for dinner. 1450 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,880 Oh. Hey, I was just about to call you for dinner. 1451 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:10,920 But just 'cause I said we're having sloppy joes 1452 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,800 But just 'cause I said we're having sloppy joes 1453 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:12,840 doesn't mean we're gonna go camping. 1454 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,320 doesn't mean we're gonna go camping. 1455 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:14,360 Going somewhere? Yeah. 1456 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,200 Going somewhere? Yeah. 1457 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:17,240 Well, uh, eat first and don't be out too late. 1458 00:38:17,240 --> 00:38:20,160 Well, uh, eat first and don't be out too late. 1459 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:20,200 I mean, I'm leaving. 1460 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,320 I mean, I'm leaving. 1461 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:23,360 For good. 1462 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,280 For good. 1463 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:28,520 What do you mean you're... 1464 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,400 What do you mean you're... 1465 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:30,440 I can't stay here anymore, OK? 1466 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,320 I can't stay here anymore, OK? 1467 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:32,360 No. It's not OK. 1468 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,160 No. It's not OK. 1469 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:34,200 Now, put your things away 1470 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,440 Now, put your things away 1471 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:36,480 and sit down and eat 1472 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:37,920 and sit down and eat 1473 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:37,960 and, afterwards, we'll discuss this. 1474 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,440 and, afterwards, we'll discuss this. 1475 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:39,480 We've already discussed it. There's nothing left to say. 1476 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,360 We've already discussed it. There's nothing left to say. 1477 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:42,440 Well, I said you're not going anywhere and that's final. 1478 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,400 Well, I said you're not going anywhere and that's final. 1479 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:44,440 Hey, Michael! Michael. What? He can't just leave! 1480 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,360 Hey, Michael! Michael. What? He can't just leave! 1481 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:46,400 We're his parents, for Christ's sake, whether he likes it or not. 1482 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,760 We're his parents, for Christ's sake, whether he likes it or not. 1483 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:48,800 We're his legal guardians. What we say goes. 1484 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,800 We're his legal guardians. What we say goes. 1485 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:50,840 Hunter, nothing's gonna be solved by running away. 1486 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,360 Hunter, nothing's gonna be solved by running away. 1487 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:52,400 I don't belong here! I don't belong in this house. 1488 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,800 I don't belong here! I don't belong in this house. 1489 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:54,840 I don't belong at that school! 1490 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,680 I don't belong at that school! 1491 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:56,720 And I don't belong with you! Of course you belong with us. 1492 00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:59,960 And I don't belong with you! Of course you belong with us. 1493 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:00,000 I'll only go on causing you problems. Embarrassing you. 1494 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,080 I'll only go on causing you problems. Embarrassing you. 1495 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:03,120 You don't embarrass us. We're proud of you. 1496 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,240 You don't embarrass us. We're proud of you. 1497 00:39:05,240 --> 00:39:05,280 This is not the debate team. 1498 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:06,720 This is not the debate team. 1499 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:06,760 There's no argument here except... 1500 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,560 There's no argument here except... 1501 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:08,600 ..do you want apple sauce or canned peaches? 1502 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,160 ..do you want apple sauce or canned peaches? 1503 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:12,480 Hunter! 1504 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,040 Hunter! 1505 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:14,080 I don't care if I have to lock you in your fucking room! 1506 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,840 I don't care if I have to lock you in your fucking room! 1507 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:21,480 Where are you gonna go? I don't know. 1508 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,480 Where are you gonna go? I don't know. 1509 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:23,520 Do you have any money? 1510 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,040 Do you have any money? 1511 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:25,080 What you and Michael gave me for my birthday. 1512 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,000 What you and Michael gave me for my birthday. 1513 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:27,040 No plan, no money - perfect. How do you intend to support yourself? 1514 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:30,160 No plan, no money - perfect. How do you intend to support yourself? 1515 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:30,200 I'll think of something. I bet you will. 1516 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,360 I'll think of something. I bet you will. 1517 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:33,400 Hey... 1518 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,160 Hey... 1519 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:36,880 If you need more, call us. 1520 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:38,800 If you need more, call us. 1521 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:40,600 What the fuck are you doing? 1522 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,720 What the fuck are you doing? 1523 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:50,040 Hunter, wait. 1524 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,600 Hunter, wait. 1525 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:55,920 Just put it in your shoe or some place safe. 1526 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,120 Just put it in your shoe or some place safe. 1527 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:09,200 DOOR CLOSES 1528 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:10,640 DOOR CLOSES 1529 00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:15,880 Hot or not? 1530 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,560 Hot or not? 1531 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:17,600 It's hot. 1532 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,240 It's hot. 1533 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:21,880 Now, that's what I call resounding approval. 1534 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,680 Now, that's what I call resounding approval. 1535 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:28,400 By the way, we sold out every last copy of the marriage issue. 1536 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,520 By the way, we sold out every last copy of the marriage issue. 1537 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:31,560 And we got orders for over 300 more. 1538 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,040 And we got orders for over 300 more. 1539 00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:36,360 Well, if not having any balls 1540 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,760 Well, if not having any balls 1541 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:38,800 is what it takes to be a gay superhero these days, 1542 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,560 is what it takes to be a gay superhero these days, 1543 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:41,600 I'd warn Rage to get the hell out of Gayopolis. 1544 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:45,000 I'd warn Rage to get the hell out of Gayopolis. 1545 00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:46,760 You know, if you didn't stay out all night, fucking, 1546 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,920 You know, if you didn't stay out all night, fucking, 1547 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:48,960 maybe you wouldn't be so cranky. 1548 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,960 maybe you wouldn't be so cranky. 1549 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:51,000 Who said I was fucking? 1550 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,440 Who said I was fucking? 1551 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:52,480 You?! I'm sure there must have been someone. 1552 00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,720 You?! I'm sure there must have been someone. 1553 00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:58,160 Yeah. And somebody else got him. 1554 00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,240 Yeah. And somebody else got him. 1555 00:41:01,240 --> 00:41:01,280 Finally, some competition. 1556 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,760 Finally, some competition. 1557 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:12,440 I don't think you get it. 1558 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:14,160 I don't think you get it. 1559 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:14,200 What, that someone rejected you? 1560 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,720 What, that someone rejected you? 1561 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:18,240 Got the prime piece of meat? It happens to everyone. 1562 00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:22,160 Got the prime piece of meat? It happens to everyone. 1563 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:23,880 One little gesture. 1564 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,360 One little gesture. 1565 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:26,400 Easily overlooked. 1566 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,320 Easily overlooked. 1567 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:30,000 (Groans) 1568 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,800 (Groans) 1569 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:31,840 But the meaning is clear. It's started. 1570 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,040 But the meaning is clear. It's started. 1571 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:37,920 It's begun. 1572 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:39,680 It's begun. 1573 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:45,280 COATHANGERS CLATTER 1574 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:48,240 COATHANGERS CLATTER 1575 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:51,720 Ah! (Clears throat) 1576 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:53,320 Ah! (Clears throat) 1577 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:55,880 How about this one? 1578 00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,760 How about this one? 1579 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:06,520 (Sighs) 1580 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,360 (Sighs) 1581 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:08,400 You know, when I was in L.A., fucking around, it was fun and all. 1582 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:13,000 You know, when I was in L.A., fucking around, it was fun and all. 1583 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:13,040 But when I came back here 1584 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,560 But when I came back here 1585 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:15,600 and you said the offer still stands and to put my stuff in the drawer... 1586 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:19,560 and you said the offer still stands and to put my stuff in the drawer... 1587 00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:22,400 ..I was hoping it meant we were finally going to be a real couple. 1588 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:27,280 ..I was hoping it meant we were finally going to be a real couple. 1589 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:29,680 Like Michael and Ben. 1590 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,200 Like Michael and Ben. 1591 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:31,240 One day we might have the things they have. 1592 00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:34,320 One day we might have the things they have. 1593 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:35,600 A house. 1594 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,400 A house. 1595 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:38,640 Maybe even a family. 1596 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,000 Maybe even a family. 1597 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:52,520 How's this? 1598 00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:54,080 How's this? 1599 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:14,320 "Hot." 1600 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,000 "Hot." 1601 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:19,200 'GOING NOWHERE' BY CUT COPY PLAYS 1602 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,680 'GOING NOWHERE' BY CUT COPY PLAYS 1603 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:27,840 1604 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:32,720